A lot has changed as the years passed by. 

There are only traces left of who I was before but I'm already here with all the things I wished to have before only less. However, I do know for a fact that I'm contented with where I am now.

I'm no longer as passionate as I was before. 

All I am now is just curious. I believe I lost the excited a long time ago and I can't seem to gain it back no matter how hard I try? I believe I just know my way around things that I end up being cocky to my inner self in a way that I exert less effort and just swing things around.

I'm learning how to be upfront with my demons.

19 year old me still lived with the ideal of running away and masking all the hurt. I have now learned how to face them slowly but more stern this time. No one hates me more than myself. No one judges me so hard than me. All of these things I'm fully aware of but what I didn't know is that I was radiating all that inner fight outside. All the caging that I'm feeling is all on me and a bit from my environment but I'm also a key player to that.

A communication student that can't communicate.

I'm really a person of few words mostly because I can't speak for shit lol. I can't verbally get my point across properly so I always end up getting frustrated, very angry, and I shut down everything and everyone. That has been my defense mechanism for a very long time.

Mental stability ≠ Mental instability.

I can't always blame these things to whatever happened days, months, and years ago. People can assume it was because of this or that. But it's really all on me. Being in the best mental state is already hard as it is and being level headed meant not affirming to my circle's pov/beliefs. Now I learned to just not care anymore. I may have lost what I was trying to keep but not all losses can be considered as a loss.

I started blogging for myself to see progress, to remember memories, to be reminded of how grateful I was for a moment, as an outlet of my personality and thought. This is the shortest yet most upfront I've written yet. I am writing because I can. Because Charlie wrote to stay sane.