My fave photo that we only have and actually like lol  (2016)

Ok so I'm here again, writing at 3AM, as if blogging isn't already dead lol. When I was younger I used to blog about my life so much because I liked expressing my extreme emotions as well as keeping track of every single thing that happened in my life so I have something to look back on. Now I'm just albeit mellow. Did it come with age? I think it did though. Not sure.

I recently found my old listography account wherein I listed all my bucketlist dreamz back in 2014. Some of the things I never got to write about were graduating college, getting a very good job, getting a piercing, and finally getting my first tattoo that meant a lot to me. I also got to meet my dad after 10 years and had a series of bad panic attacks for a whole damn week. Crazy how time flies but what's crazier is getting a gush of emotions and a lot of old memories all of a sudden. It's also weird that one day I was a 15 year-old sad high school dweeb who would spend so much time on her blog page then the next thing I know I'm already a 21 year old corporate slave but more content and happy to say the least.

I wrote a drafted blog before I turned 21. It was about the things that I wish I knew when I was younger which, reading now, still and will always make sense to me. The things I wrote last year are still the same advice I'd give 16 year old Silka. Sis kissed a lot of frogs that made her feel inferior which later on lead to her thinking she needed a man to be happy. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm happy that I'm here now because it took me a long, hard time and a lot of rough patches that I did to myself before I got in a good place in my life. Good but still a long way to go but that's not half as bad as it used to be.

To my 16 year old self, fuck you. de joke lang. I'm sorry di ka naging the director you've always dreamt about. Your vision is great but you suck at storytelling. Anyway, you're a multimedia artist under the country's leading newspaper company so I guess that makes it up for your unfulfilled ambition lol. Your bad mentality sucked so but I wish you didn't opt to dwelling in your misery that in return you hurt a lot of people that only wanted to love you. Your circumstance isn't your fault but the bad shit you did was all yours sis.

When I was 18, I used to think "wow adult life come at me" but that's some bullshit every 18-year old would tell themselves. At 19, I tried to write a post of how being 19 makes me think I'm more mature than I was when I was 18 while fucking shit up really bad. At 20, I didn't even try to write anything anymore. 21 made me write a realization I never shared. 22? I got eyelash extensions hahahahaha what is there to say though omg

I'm just a few days away from being 22 let's not fuck this up plz.